Family

It's been a very hard year so far for 2010. My mom lost her father to Cancer in January. That was very heard on her and her siblings...but nothing could have ever prepared our family for the news February 23rd would bring. My cousin's youngest son died tragically from what in my heart I feel was a very miscalculated mistake. I feel it was an accident like no other. We ask God why Jacob had to leave us now, he was so young...but we are left with so much confusion and heartache. We adored this kid. He was 13 years old, would have turned 14 on March 2nd. My heart aches just at every turn...but to imagine the immense & unbearable pain his mom and dad and brother Joshua are going through...it just rips my heart out. I wanted so much to be there to grieve with my family & help my cousin & her family in any way possible...but Rob has been away in Naknek working and had no relief as the other practitioner is in Australia. It is so difficult not being able to be there with then, but even worse being here in Fairbanks alone. I try to tell Katie why this is so sad & so hard to accept, at first she was worried about me. She drew pictures & gave hugs, but two days later she would say, "are you crying again?"
The only blessing during this time for me to highlight has been the empathy Trapper showed. He kept bringing me tissues & trying to wipe my eyes & kissing my cheek or hugging me. First I have ever seen of this in him.
Jacob will be missed so much, for the rest of our lives. I cannot imagine this pain ever going away. I pray continually for my cousin & her family...as well as her sister & parents. They are a very small, very close family & we love them so much.